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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?